The Benefits of Rules

Ever since even considering having children, I've had one or two very firm ideas about childrearing. One of those ideas is never backing down - what mummy says goes, no matter what. When I say no, I mean no. When I say it's time to go home, we're going home. And so on.

In the last few days, I have noticed those rules paying off for me, and I thought I would post the details firstly to brag, secondly to look back on and smile, and thirdly to hopefully assist any parents with "problem children" or issues with discipline.

Elspeth has been a bit of a fussy eater for a while now. When she was around 18 months old, I started cracking down on fussy eating - if she didn't eat the dinner I gave her, she got nothing at all - no new dinner, no dessert, she went to bed hungry. Now, at 22 months of age, she is coming to realise this. She might make a fuss and yell and scream, not wanting to eat, but if I leave her food out and ignore the tantrum, she will eat it before too long.

Like all children, Elspeth knows when she likes something. Like chips. Tonight hubby and I had corn chips out, and she kept asking for some. She said please and thank you, but before long I decided she'd had enough chips. I told her, "No more, you've had enough." She cried for about a minute, and asked for "more chips please" a couple of times, but three or four "No"s was enough to make her stop. That's a vast improvement on previous incidents where she would throw a tantrum and keep asking for half an hour.

Also like all children, Elspeth knows when she's having fun. We went to Child's Play, a big indoor playground thing, this morning. It was fantastic fun for all of us. However when the time came to leave, I simply told Elspeth "It's time to go now", and she headed straight for the door - beating hubby and I there!

These are just a few recent examples of her good behaviour, which I'm very impressed with, and which I attribute almost entirely to my stubbornness. I'm rarely unfair or mean to her, just firm and resolute. I mean what I say, and she knows it.

I sincerely hope I can keep this up when I have two children, and that she remains an angel as she gets older!!

Telling Stories

Elspeth loves hearing stories about herself, and the things she's been doing lately. Today Aidan and I told her this story:

Once upon a time there was a little girl called Elspeth. [They all start this way.] One day, her mummy and daddy took her to a playground. She climbed up the biggest steps she's ever climbed, up and up and up, all the way to the top. Up the top there was a wobbly bridge, and mummy stood at one end while daddy stood at the other. Elspeth ran across the bridge to daddy, and then back again to mummy, and back and forth lots of times! Then her daddy put her on the slide, and Elspeth went down the slide with a "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and mummy caught her at the bottom. The end.

Every time one of the stories about herself gets to "The end", Elspeth says "Again!" or "More!" So we tell another one, or the same one again but differently! It's lots of fun for all concerned.

Oh, the arghness!

Little Elspeth, of the adorable behaviours and cherubic face, has been just a little bit of a nightmare this evening. Very clingy, very whiny - well, I say "very", when compared to her usual cheerful self. I think she's missing her daddy; he's out till quite late tonight. However, she finally ate dinner, consented to hear a story, and has gone to sleep. The drawback of this is that I'm now feeling bored and restless. There's housework to be done, as always, but... you know, it can wait until tomorrow!

Hug hug!

"Hug hug!" Currently Elspeth's most-used phrase. Very sweet, very cute, nice that she likes to hug me. But when I'm trying to wash dishes, sweep the floor, or cook dinner, it can get very slightly annoying! But look at that face; how can you refuse? So she gets hugged possibly more than any other child in history. It keeps her happy, and I guess that's the main thing!

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

For the first time tonight, Elspeth has been put to bed without dinner. She has lately taken to refusing to eat her main course, secure in the knowledge that she will be given yummy dessert later anyway - I have done this in order to make her sleep through the night and not wake up hungry. However, that stops tonight. No more fussiness, no more games. If she doesn't eat dinner, she doesn't get dessert, and she goes hungry. It is a hard line to take, but I hope it will get her into good habits nice and early and discourage fussy eating. I do not have the patience for it, and I will not continue to offer her multiple meals or courses every night in the hope that she will eventually eat one. Do you hear my foot coming down? The foot is down. I have put my foot down.

Life in the High Chair

It appears that life in the highchair is over. Elspeth is now completely refusing to eat while strapped into it; in fact she sits there yelling until I let her down. Now nothing will do but to sit in her very own chair at her very own (mismatched) table to eat her dinner.

She's been 18 months old for five days, and in those five days it seems like she's really made the transition from baby to toddler. It's been coming on for some time, but now I think it's complete. Wish me luck!

Something Fishy

For a little while now I've been feeling somewhat bored with my home-based existence, and occasionally I come up with a gem of an idea to get me (and sometimes Ellie too) out of the house. Today's brilliant idea was the Melbourne Aquarium.

I really like the Aquarium. I like fish. I find the place, usually, soothing and calming.

But I forgot it's school holidays. The place was busy! I mean, totally crazy busy. The press and crush of the crowds meant that I didn't see very much, and poor little Elspeth saw even less. There was also an entire area (the whole upper floor) that we couldn't get to - we were turned away from the elevator, and the ramp was too crowded with people coming down for us to to get up.

However, we did get to see the sharks, and the "Oceanarium" was at least large enough that I felt comfortable stopping for a few minutes and letting Elspeth have a run around.

So, all in all, as much as I love the Aquarium, I would not go there again during school holidays. I might go again in a few weeks and we can just relax!

An Unexpected Career Choice

My daughter has turned interior decorator, and apparently my choice of home furnishings is inadequate to satisfy her tastes. It is now essential that almost everything in the house be covered in crayon scrawls, no matter if it be table, wall, chair, floor, or mum.

I suppose I must take a portion of the blame; I leave crayons out and I do encourage their use - although I've lost count of how many times I've said "Only on the paper, honey."

The first ponytail

Ellie doesn't usually stay still for very long - and certainly not long enough to do anything with her hair. But today, apparently wanting to imitate me, she wanted a ponytail and kept her head still for long enough for me to do this!

At some point Aidan has told her that ponies are just little horses, so now she's wandering around the house pulling at her ponytail saying "Neigh!" However, that hairtie has stayed in there for a remarkably long time - about ten minutes so far - so I think we're on a winner with ponytails.

Early mornings

YAAAWWWWNNNN. For a couple of weeks now Elspeth has been waking up at 8am or even later. It's been glorious. But yesterday and today have been early mornings and it sucks. She woke at 6.30 today. That ain't cool. Need more sleep! I might send Ellie off to my parents' place for a few days sometime soon; everybody seems to like that. In the meantime, I have assignments to finish... somehow...

Self-feeding

Elspeth is becoming adept at feeding herself with a spoon. She's getting her mouth more often, and spilling less. She still occasionally tries to speak with a mouthful, and wonders why food falls out.

Ellie's Art - 7th Jan 2011

This is on the fridge now!

A Cold When It's Hot

Despite the 31 degrees of yesterday and the expected top of 34 today, Elspeth has developed the sniffles this morning. She seems quite happy, not at all upset about it, just a yucky snotty nose. She is perhaps a little tired, too.

Do you see that little bit of hair sticking out at the front? That's where I had to wipe snot out of her hair. And the less said about the beanbag, the better. Suffice to say, she throws herself face-forwards onto it all the time, and when there are boogers involved, it isn't pretty!

I Remember Sleep

I just wish Elspeth did! The last two nights have been something like awful. Don't get me wrong, once she's properly asleep, she stays that way. But last night it was nearly 10pm before she consented to slumber, and the night before... well, heaven only knows what happened there. She went to sleep as usual at 8pm, but awoke suddenly screaming at 9. She refused to be comforted or even held, and was arching her back (but controlled, not convulsing) and wriggling like crazy. We think she must have had a nightmare, and presently she just calmed down and went back to sleep nicely.

Today I was hoping she would agree to nap quite early, as we're going out this afternoon. But no. She's apparently not tired. So she probably won't get a nap at all today, unless she sleeps for 20 minutes or so in the pram as she occasionally does.

I never thought I'd be so focused on another person's sleep patterns and habits. But then I had a baby.

Christmas

Aidan and I don't celebrate Christmas. However, our parents do, and our daughter is too young to choose. So whilst the parental units agreed to keep it low key (just a barbeque in our backyard), they did lavish us all, and especially Elspeth, with unsolicited presents. This car and the sandpit in the background, for instance. Very nice, and she loves them, but next year we're cracking down on the No-Christmas rule!

Notwithstanding, we did have a lovely day, and it was great to have all the family together for once. I was only slightly frazzled, being unused to hosting more than one guest, and parental gifts of food were a much welcomed addition to the table!

A few days worth of catching up

I shall begin on Thursday.

Thursday afternoon, my wonderful parents came and took Elspeth away! This meant that Aidan and I were free to celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary on our own. Lovely! This picture was taken by my dad, apparently Ellie was playing hide and seek in their wardrobe.

Aidan and I were free agents then until Sunday afternoon, when we took my parents a bag of lemons as ransom for our daughter.

Since then, I must say, she has been a huge pain the butt. She's been grizzly and upset, whinging about nothing or the smallest things. I'm sure it is, in part, our fault - we haven't exactly let her settle back down into a routine!

On Monday I started university. I'm studying online, at home, so it shouldn't have directly affected Elspeth, but quite possibly I paid her less attention than she is used to.

On Tuesday we had Andrew over for dinner, which was tremendously fun as usual, but it did mean we had Ellie up later than usual!

On Wednesday was my grandfather's funeral, so we had to take her on a long drive to the tedious event, followed by a long drive home again.

Today, Thursday, we had Mother's Group - shambles of a disorganised event that it was this week - so again her routine was interrupted!

I sincerely hope that tomorrow and the next few days will be boring and predicable, and that she will settle down again.

She is already seeming slightly better, she is amusing herself relatively quietly while Aidan sleeps prior to night shift.

Tonight's Giggly Madness

With our dinner tonight, Aidan and I had a salad. A big salad in a bowl that we could both pick at. So, I sat at one end of the couch, Aidan sat at the other, and the salad bowl was next to me.

Elspeth climbed up on the couch and started poking around in the salad bowl. Naturally I encouraged this, thinking she was showing signs of wanting to eat healthily.

But did she eat it? No.

She took bits out, one by one, and put them into Aidan's mouth. Feeding him. After each piece went into his mouth, she would be back at the bowl for another, and trying to feed him again before he'd even chewed the last piece! It was like a salad relay race! On the one occasion Aidan simply couldn't get another piece of vegetable into his mouth and utterly refused, Elspeth simply brought it back and fed it to me instead!

Much hilarity ensued. :)

Playing Favourites

Now everybody knows that parents aren't meant to have favourites amongst their children. Clearly for Aidan and I this is not a problem, as we so far only have one child. However apparently no corresponding rule exists for the children themselves, and nobody stops them having favourite adults! Usually, of course, it's just Elspeth and myself at home and she has no choice but to love me best. But today Aidan is home, and he is definitely the favourite - he is the one she wants to be near, to hug, to climb all over, and to slobber on. Last weekend at my parents' house, my mother was the favourite. Elspeth switches favourites like some people change underwear! Whilst it is nice to be her favourite, it is equally nice to get a break and let somebody else take the brunt of her particularly demanding style of attention!

Swapsies!

At some point in the distant past I started giving Elspeth juice in bottles she could drink from herself - that is to say, I no longer have to sit down, hold her, and hold the bottle, she drinks all by herself while wandering around. Now naturally she can't do this with a dummy in her mouth, so if she has one, I ask her for it before I give her the juice.
From this, she has gotten the impression that she can't have juice without giving me something first - swapping something! So every time I offer her the bottle, if she isn't sucking on a dummy, she goes to find something to give to me before she takes it!

The Flower of my Heart

Some weeks ago, to test Elspeth's vocabulary and understanding, I asked her to bring me a flower. To my delight, she went and found a flower, picked it, and brought it to me. Naturally I was thrilled, and praised her effusively. The natural extension of this is that she now thinks that bringing mummy flowers is a good and right thing to do - and so she does it all the time. I sat on the back step watching her play in the yard this morning, and every time the inclination struck her, she brought me a flower. Nine, in all. By about the third or fourth I was wondering if I should keep thanking her for them - she'll be picking every flower in the yard at this rate! But I would hate to scold her when she thinks she's doing something praiseworthy! So I simply said nothing as I took each flower from her (if I don't take things when she gives them, she shoves them at me, getting very aggravated if I don't accept!) and I guess after the ninth my lack of enthusiasm got through to her and she stopped. But I know she'll do it again tomorrow!